Kids these days have it easy, what happened to the good old days where our negligent parents would go on a trip to Florida over the chirstmas holidays and due to a power outage the night before leaving, arrive late and unorganized to the air port, leaving me, Kevin Mccallister behind at the house, alone, home, defending myself against 2 robbers trying to murder me. Kids these days can’t just “mindcraft” their way out of attempted murder and home invasion, they barely know how to set up booby traps and hit people with paint cans.
me when i see a hilariously bad video that i want to send to my friend instantly, knowing that its bad enough to make them want to hire a deep web hitman to kill me
My upstairs neighbor is having really loud sex at 10:25am. And, while this feels like retaliation, I can only hope it mellows her out and she stops stomping around all the goddamn time
Wow in the time it took me to type up and tag this post, the sex started and ended…… she’ll prolly be vacuuming soon. 🙁
It’s 10:29 and the sex has ended. I am v sad for her
I feel like I jinxed her. Like her nigga follows me on here and saw this post, mid thrust, and got performance anxiety. I’m sorry, Upstairs Stomping Bitch.
There’s stomping. She’s up and moving around. And you know what….. I can’t even be mad anymore. If I was only getting fucked for seven minutes at a time, I’d stomp around too.
Y’all she’s showing tf out. She’s really up there like
Damn I just heard her door close and then footsteps coming down the stairs. He left 😭😭😭 he’s not even gonna try again.
I’m gonna need ear plugs for the level of stomping this is bound to cause. When her feet inevitably crash through my ceiling ima just look through the hole and be like “hi…. sorry you didn’t get fucked down this morning. Even tho you filed a noise complaint on me that one time, I was rooting for you.”
Update y’all: it’s 3:10pm and she is vacuuming THE FUCK out of the hardwood flooring
But then like, that really does sound like something ppl that are in need of orgasm do. Just extremely unnecessary cleaning, to take their mind off the lack of sexual release.
I can see the text conversation now.
“I heard Aaron came over last nightttt. Whatd you guys get up to???👀👀👀😏”
“Not much. Oh! But, I did finally get a chance to mop my bathtub tho!!🤗 It was a mess in there, so thank god.”
“😬😔”
It’s 12:26am and she is getting her back blown tf outttt. Cannot be the same nigga from earlier.
I have the strong urge to knock the broom against the ceiling and holler out “yaaas bitch get some bomb ass dick” but I don’t wanna fuck up the vibe
Nvm. It lasted from 12:20-12:28. It’s the same nigga.
She better not start stomping or cleaning. I’ll file a noise complaint so fucking fast. Imagine getting a noise complaint for shitty sex. Don’t do it, Stomping Upstairs Bitch
imagine you saw an alien spacecraft and your first reaction was to critique its flat color palette and unimaginative lines
The Truth is Out There and It Has Bad Aesthetics
Because context actually makes the already great headline even greater:
“I know this is horrible,” del Toro continues. “You sound like a complete lunatic, but I saw a UFO. I didn’t want to see a UFO. It was horribly designed. I was with a friend. We bought a six-pack. We didn’t consume it, and there was a place called Cerro del Cuatro, “Mountain of the Four,” on the periphery of Guadalajara. We said, ‘Let’s go to the highway.’ We sit down to watch the stars and have the beer and talk. We were the only guys by the freeway. And we saw a light on the horizon going super-fast, not linear. And I said, ‘Honk and flash the lights.’ And we started honking.”
The UFO, says del Toro, “Went from 1,000 meters away [to much closer] in less than a second — and it was so crappy. It was a flying saucer, so clichéd, with lights [blinking]. It’s so sad: I wish I could reveal they’re not what you think they are. They are what you think they are. And the fear we felt was so primal. I have never been that scared in my life. We jumped in the car, drove really fast. It was following us, and then I looked back and it was gone.”
the same man that made a movie about making giant robots to fight aliens SAW SOME ALIENS, INSULTED THEIR AESTHETIC, and RAN AWAY SCREAMING
See this is the Most Believable Account I’ve read because most people are like “Oh it was So Beautiful it was So Amazing it was Truly Otherwordly”
But this guy is just like “I saw a UFO and it was really fuckin cliche and badly put together 5/10 an okay alien spacecraft not great” and honestly that feels like absolutely the way we’d react to seeing stuff like this
It’s like the bit in Paul where Nick Frost’s character is annoyed that he looks so much like a Movie Alien and isn’t more original in how his species looks
Marshmellowmilktea 