wtfzodiacsigns:

aries: yells at you A LOT and cries from frustration

taurus: doesn’t share food

gemini: finds any excuse to hit you

cancer: ignores you and gives you dirty looks, but eventually forgives you in a week or two

leo: spreads rumors about you

Keep reading

normal-horoscopes:

Aries: Be brave and expect some coy resistance. Station men on the nearby hills and pour down suppressing fire after the initial bombardment. Destroy the train lines and turn the canyon into a killing field.

Taurus: Patience. As much as it sucks, you’ll have to make the first move most of the time. Get them out of their comfort zone, but not too far. Radio signals fail once you get far enough into the leaden desert wastes. 

Gemini: Do your research! Find the places where you interest overlap, know where you are an expert and enjoy learning new things. Once you realize the fragility of the dream it will shatter like a pane of glass.

Cancer: Above all, be honest with yourself. That will lead the way for everything that follows. Cancers admire vulnerability, and will give as much as they get. Passionate aikido forms at the edge of a canyon, the sensation of charred flesh on charred flesh.

Leo: Don’t hold back on the praise! Leo’s can be a self depreciating type. Everyone likes praise, but leos dont give themselves enough credit as is. Let them know they are more than the hydraulics and tungsten that keeps them standing. That there is more to life than utility.

Virgo: Some think Virgos are attracted to intelligence. This is close, they are attracted to passionate people. Show them the little bag of eye-stones you’ve collected over your time here. Make sure to listen, watch their reactions. Be gentle, and they will see them as treasures as you do.

Libra: Libras are excellent conversationalists, and will admire someone who can match that wit! Lay on the charm! Some friendly competition never hurt anyone, especially when it comes to flirting. Their almost-children will prattle off on their own tasks, do not interrupt them.

Scorpio: Everyone is multifaceted, dont be afraid to explore this. Scorpios have a tendency to bring out deep things in people. Steady your heart and know that they mean you no harm. Memories of wars you never fought. Loved ones you never knew. They are sharing with you the deepest recess of themselves.

Ophiuchus: You’ll find no help here.

Sagittarius: No matter what their chosen task is, expect someone who treats it like an art form. Ask questions, give in to your curiosity, though steer clear of asking personal questions, it will only make them hungry. If you do trip up, it is best to simply let them be. 

Capricorn: Take charge, but don’t push any limits. Where you see resistance, simply let it be. The key here is comfort. Know that any personal information they do give, was given with great trust and difficulty. Be attentive, the signs can be subtle. A ripple in the air, a scent on the wind of kinds of life you’ve never seen before. Something that stirs deep and gnawing memories.

Aquarius: The key to an Aquarius is time. No tricks or performance is needed, just good old fashioned presence. Learn to be comfortable in the quiet, and it will welcome you. A subtle display of dedication, but dedication nonetheless. They have been here longer than you, and they will be here much longer than you. The damage to their outer shell will tell you of everything you need to know.

Pisces: Get abstract. Wax philosophical about anything and everything. Pisces love a long, deep conversation. Talk about what you think the stars looked like. Talk about what burned the sky. Talk about where you think a mother was.

forgivemeimmafloof:

sexy-monster-fucker:

ihaveaseriousclownproblem:

animesparkleluv96:

orriculum:

(and other bad advice)

aries: light candles. burn bridges and pumpkin scented candles with the same match. burn all the rotten residue. enjoy life without the hecklers.

taurus: 

when you trick-or-treat, they will say you are too old. you have always been too old. you are old as the earth and it creaks in your bones

gemini: bitter black brew. it is the deadliest poison. drink, drink until you’re sick, until your eyes are sunken in your skull. add sugar and cream first. 

cancer: you can’t keep yourself in the same closet as your skeletons. unless you are a skeleton. if so, sort the bones. find a better place to bury them. 

leo: jump in a pile of leaves. take a moment to sink under the pile, in peace. sink, sink deeper and darker. let the ground take you. make friends there. 

virgo: what’s better than an over-sized sweater? bury yourself in knit cable sweaters. keep knitting. build yourself a cave of comfort. don’t build a way out.

libra: double-cross the monster under your bed. buy bunk beds. tuck them in at night. everything’s a monster with bags under its eyes.

scorpio: bite your tongue. drink the blood. go see a doctor. tear the stitches out and redo them yourself. what, weren’t you going to do that anyway?

sagittarius: you can’t apologize for the beast the full moon made of you. but the one you became during the crescent moon did some fucked up shit bro.

capricorn: take down your hair, take off your glasses, shed your skin, go deep into the woods, lurk in the dark. it’s time there was a monster to fear.

aquarius: cold, cold hands. blue and veined. kiss mysterious girls and average men in doorways. what happens to them after is not of your concern.

pisces: 

some flowers only bloom in the winter. wreath yourself in frost, breathe mist into the air. they never told you ghosts haunt themselves first.

@ihaveaseriousclownproblem Thought this was fun :3

I’m a Taurus and can confirm

CAPRICORN

… I can’t fucking believe that everywhere I look my life is linked to skeletons.

normal-horoscopes:

Aries: An unmarked door in a deep shaft. The floor is all pipes and wires. Makeshift amenities make this little nook the closest thing to home.

Taurus: What once could have been a cramped, bare town. What was once a guardian probes the streets from above with a great spotlight, quick to pick off anything that moves.

Gemini: Someone in the garb of the old aristocracy. Their equipment is wretchedly aged and repaired by hand. It would look pathetic, but in this case is a mark of tenacity.

Cancer: The thing that watches over the prison transport ships. It used to be two things but now they share a spine.

Leo: The massive sewer systems are still spotless, but none take permanent refuge there. The recycler swarms are too good at their job.

Virgo: Few can imagine the filth that collects at the lowest levels. All that filth has to judge us by is what seeps down from the ceilings. 

Libra: Tales of a trio of tall figures building people out of scrap parts. They are only trying to help. They can put your bones to much much better use.

Scorpio: A massive, heavy, slow thing with an armored gut full of now meaningless currency. It strips seemingly random objects off corpses, adding them to its meaningless fortune.

Ophiuchus: When she awoke to see the infection had taken her shoulder she did the only sensible thing. She cut off her own head. She holds it by the hair in her left hand. 

Sagittarius: These heavy industrial replicators are prone to overheating, warping their normally dexterous appendages into clumsy, gnarled fists.

Capricorn: Even the oldest residents didnt know what powered the great reactor until it tore itself from the cooling pool, spewing a sea of molten metal.

Aquarius: Seems like everyone nowadays is trying to build the perfect being. But something has to happen to the first drafts right?

Pisces: A congregation of puppets is still a congregation. Is worship still worship even if god is the one pulling the strings?

la-petitefille:

Beautiful Things About the Signs ♡

• Aries: Their passion, their fire, their drive. No one else contains such a uniquely burning desire to squeeze all that they can from this thing called life. They are so honest and adventurous, and such firm believers of no dream being too big.

• Taurus: If generosity had a face, it would be that of this dependable being. Their naturally polite heart is something to be cherished and admired, as is their independent and strong-natured soul. Their attentiveness, their need to flourish, their strong sense of giving.

• Gemini: The way in which they are constantly enamored by so many things, adorably enthused by the universe. They care for their loved ones in a way that is incomparable, and are always looking to share something vibrant and different with the world.

• Cancer: There is nobody who feels emotions in such a deeply poignant way. The fragility of their heart deserves to be admired and embraced, as there’s certainly no one who experiences life’s teachings in a more profound and moving manner. Their faith, their protectiveness, and their spontaneity.

• Virgo: Their attention to detail, their knack for solving mysteries, and their practical heart. These are souls which are so wonderful to seek help from, as they are reliable + always striving to help analyze situations from the very best of angles.

• Pisces: Their passion for relying on their intuition is so special, as they are deeply-feeling and naturally compassionate. These individuals are always striving for living a life full of imagination and kindness, doing so through embracing selflessness and thinking outside the box.

• Leo: Their energy is contagious, as they wish for nothing more than to shower their loved ones with optimism and affection. They are fiercely loyal and determined to help, always trying their best to view the glass as “half-full.”

• Aquarius: Truly the humanitarian, they really do want nothing more than to make the world a better place to be. They are friendly, loyal, and endlessly creative, seeing the artistic potential in the things which others may only view as mundane.

• Scorpio: Their focus on + passion for the things which they hold close to their heart is honest and incomparable. Faithful and ambitious, the depth of these souls is endless. Their hearts are filled with an aura of mystery, empathy, and intuition, things which set them uniquely apart from others.

• Capricorn: Their ambition and their wise souls are such gifts, and they strive to be both sensible and understanding. They possess an ability to set wonderfully unique goals, but get that the best things usual take time; feeling so grateful when these things eventually arrive. Their patience, their practicality, and their willingness to dream big.

• Sagittarius: Such a straightforward personality is wonderfully impressive, truly setting their driven spirits apart from the others. Their sense of right and wrong is so embraceable, as is their knack for being s lovely mix of both generous and honest.

• Libra: Their tactful nature, their charming sincerity, and their diplomacy are things that are so worth admiring. Never has there been a soul who tries their very best to see things from various sides, and whom aims so hard towards embracing patience.

apiscesprincess:

Aries: They gave their complete energy and soul to you. They were burned down and left cold you left them alone and you killed their sprit to the core.

Taurus: So gently they gave you all the love they had. So cruelly you pushed them away to the point where they couldn’t stand back up.

Gemini: They finally opened up to you and let you know all their secrets and fluorescent thoughts. You never really cared to listen though you left them feeling alone and lost you made them feel unimportant.

Cancer: They trusted you and finally gave everything to you. You didn’t really see the importance or significance in anything they did for you. You left them when they needed you the most.

Leo: They wanted to give you the world. You made them think that there was something they were always lacking. You made them feel small.

Virgo: They did everything they could to please you. You made them feel like they were crazy for wanting to be loved. You left them feeling unwanted.

Libra: They only ever loved you and they only ever really liked your company. Their eyes lit up when they saw you. They saw you leave them and they saw you betray them too and they still couldn’t stop loving you.

Scorpio: You made them want to never look at anyone again with intentions of loving them. You marked them and you took away that spark in their eyes.

Sagittarius: They stayed in bed and they couldn’t move. The optimistic look on their face was destroyed when you told them you didn’t love them. You stole their happiness.

Capricorn: You watched the light escape their eyes. You watched them leave and never come back. You let them die for your own good.

Aquarius: They begged you to stay one last time. You broke them and they still stayed. You told them they were never gonna be the one.

Pisces: You broke their spirit. Made them feel bad for being the one broken. You watched them bleed their heart for you. You saw the sparkle in their eyes fade to dark.

astroalive:

Aries: Always active, bold, and alive – absolutely can’t stand to be bored. You are prone to letting insecurity take over your life, making you race around – desperate to accomplish. You can heal quickly from emotional hurts and recover your energy quickly when faced with crisis. You are quick to temper and it’s pretty violent but burns out quickly. You tend to enjoy conflict, maybe even viewing life as a battle. In the moment defines your way of living yet you may not trust yourself to make immediate decisions.

Taurus: Material and financial security is important to you. You trust what you can touch and have issues with the abstract, this means you may invest too much of yourself into material objects. You are prone to becoming bored or deadlocked. Self-worth and insecurity are issues for you. For these reasons you often stay too long in relationships that are going nowhere. Earth and nature feel like home to you; your home, which you center around comfort, is filled with earthy elements, tile, flowers, etc. Sensual and loving, you attract others and know how to give them what they want.

Gemini: Communication is the most important thing to you. You may be prone to deluding yourself or suppressing your true emotions, often not letting yourself truly feel them but release them, an odd paradox so like a Gemini. You have a lot of emotions but always know how to express them due to Mercury’s gift of eloquence. Interpreting the emotions of others is a gift of yours yet you often miss their deeper drives, desires, and goals. Be careful of taking things at face value. You may be afraid of emotional or romantic intensity.

Cancer: Home, family, and security – these are the most important things in your life. You are strong and dependable, a motherly figure to those around you. Despite the strong emotions that Cancer is associated with, you may try to hide your fear and doubts. You may hoard items of sentimental value, reluctant to ever let go – this hoarding may seep into other parts of your life, so be careful. You like to create – perhaps painting or drawing, cooking, or knitting or sewing. Down to earth, homey things are very important to you. 

Leo: Center of the universe, right here. Drama and control are your needs. But you certainly aren’t petty or greedy. You are as warm as the sun, generous and loving at your core. You just need a lot of love and affection in return – and you’re damn well going to get it. Be careful though, you can be manipulated easily by flattery. You can be addicting, your view of the world is so positive and intense, you feel so much joy for even the smallest of things. Loyalty and trust are above all else in your book.

Virgo: Shy, quiet and practical, you really don’t enjoy a lot of attention. You are a hard worker and seek success but never acclaim – you want your work to speak for itself. You want to be loved yet you can’t stand to let anyone do something for you. You especially hate to be cared for and for this reason may try to distance yourself in love. A detail-oriented perfectionist, it can be hard for you to ever feel you’ve truly succeeded and often beat yourself over terribly small things. You are a very attentive friend and lover, taking great care of those you love, making sure to do little things to brighten their day.

Libra: Fights, discord, and unfairness truly upset you at your core. You will do absolutely everything you can to maintain balance as a natural diplomat. You may struggle with outright displays of emotion, really intensity of any kind may disturb you. This can really cause issues for you as you simply cannot handle any sort of disorder; your desire to please everyone restricts you as you take it so seriously. You need social security, a partner, a designated place in your social circle or the hierarchy. You are a social creature and extremely lovable due to your care.

Scorpio: You may keep to yourself, even attempting to hide your emotions, but at your core you are passionate and intense. Yet you feel secure in these deep feelings, you are not afraid of them, you just prefer to hold your cards close to your chest. You have the enviable ability to sit back and draw what you want to you despite your ability to go after what you want. You are a deeply emotional person, prone to hurt. You often brood or seek small forms of revenge. You have to trust someone wholly and fully before opening up to them. You need deep, profound, almost painful relationships in your life.

Sagittarius: A natural philosopher and thinker forever seeking something new. Learning is important to you. You simply must have a cause, mission, or goal at all times. Religion is often very important to you and you are very involved no matter what your belief system is, but you are never rigid in your beliefs. You enjoy gambling, the rush of it, or any other risk-taking activity – you need a thrill of some kind. Optimistic and faithful, your gift of hope is remarkable.

Capricorn: You want to feel useful, in control, and successful and these strong desires rule your life. You have such high aspirations that you often feel unloved and inferior, especially due to your need for outside approval. You have deep and passionate feelings yet you can feel shy about expressing them, emotions may even make you feel weak. You may come off as uptight, reserved, or cold due to your reluctance to display emotion. It feels good to you to be needed. Discipline and respect are very important to you.

Aquarius: You need freedom above all else. You try to rise above negativity and can sometimes be intolerant of the emotions of others. You may ignore your emotional needs and natural responses or analyze them so closely that you become detached from them completely. You are usually cold and distant even in your most intimate relationships. You value your individuality and don’t follow trends and the like. Because you try to shut down your emotions so often you may be emotionally immature. Intimacy scares you.

Pisces: You may feel like a fish out of water in society. You are prone to escapist behaviors as you find the world so harsh. You have a vibrant imagination in which you try to hide. You are a selfless, loving person who seeks to help those less fortunate than you. You take on other people’s emotions due to your intense sympathy which may lead you to seek unhealthy outlets. You are extremely creative but may struggle to channel this talent. It’s important that you focus on the positive in life and avoid negativity.