“uggh I can’t believe people are horny for Venom of all characters” do you…are you not aware of who Venom is like…as a character….a concept…Venom is the fuckiest character in Marvel history..this is literally the least surprising outcome
Venom is an alien slime that bonds to you physically and emotionally and transforms you into a muscle monster with huge teeth and a three-foot tongue and you’re SHOCKED that people want to get in on that? do you live in a cave?
Justin: Stop. Stop. This needs to be addressed. My first thought was the tunnel of love, right? Okay, but stop for a second and think.
Griffin: Oh my god – holy shit Justin! You’re right!
Justin: Seriously though. Media has perpetrated a lot of lies on us growing up as kids, especially like, old cartoons. I’ve never, in my entire adult life – I’ve traveled all across this great land of ours, I’ve never, ever, ever seen a tunnel of love. I’ve seen a fake Mario Brothers castle that kids could run around in and fall and die. Like, I’ve seen a spaceship that spins around so fast that you stick to the walls. I’ve never seen a tunnel of love in my entire life.
Griffin: Because essentially what a tunnel of love is, is a timed hand-job challenge. Are you tough enough?
Justin: Can you jack it?
Griffin: You have 118 seconds, go! Uh-oh, look up ahead. Do you hear the clown music? You better hurry! You better hurry and finish to the clown music!
Sloshing around with cum inside of you would be the coolest thing! It’d make me happy, plus those little bumps from having so much, and even more spilling out of you? Gimme.
honestly? im done with the lies. being little spoon fuckign sucks okay? it really does. its hot and sweaty and cramped and you better believe that arm wrapped around you is gunna go from “acceptable foreign weight” to “there is a literal blue whale colony collapsed atop you” in about 2 minutes flat. yall forreal want a FLESH BLANKET encasing you??? a goddamn slab prison of human skin and Person Tissue draped across your corporeal form??? find a God and grovel for redemption.
being big spoon though? divine. precious. it grants the sensation of being a benevolent egg white, swaddled loosely within your blanket shell as you in turn cradle the precious yolk within your grasp. you are a sublime deity of warmth and comfort, one who may bestow your blessing on any mortal you deem fit. an unparalleled joy to perform.
and you can grab a tit ty
can yall please stop reblogging this post i made after eating three entire packages of marshmallow peeps washed down with a near-deadly amount of nyquil
Marshmellowmilktea 