yeti-princess:

shimadapantsu:

nodramaaloud:

fuckthekxng:

ratdruid:

fuckthekxng:

unilady99:

vip-status:

Get your ding dong here (◕‿◕)

No, okay, but I have one of these, and its honestly, like the best thing ever. I played with it so much that I accidentally rubbed it’s eyes off so now it’s blind, but it’s still super cute and I love it.

ahhhh I have this too and the tiny boob as well. My favorite thing about it is it’s little butt crack lol I love my little squishy stress relievers! 😃

I have couple of the dongs but does anyone know where I can get the boob?

You can get them here! i got the boob one bc i lowkey relate to it personally 😂

Public service announcement they are on sale

I need twenty of them

14/10 would buy again. It leaves lovely butt marks on things, and all my friends have one now.

kolalakay:

tchalisew:

adorn88:

tchalisew:

tchalisew:

tchalisew:

tchalisew:

tchalisew:

tchalisew:

tchalisew:

tchalisew:

tchalisew:

tchalisew:

tchalisew:

tchalisew:

tchalisew:

tchalisew:

tchalisew:

My upstairs neighbor is having really loud sex at 10:25am. And, while this feels like retaliation, I can only hope it mellows her out and she stops stomping around all the goddamn time

Wow in the time it took me to type up and tag this post, the sex started and ended…… she’ll prolly be vacuuming soon. 🙁

It’s 10:29 and the sex has ended. I am v sad for her

I feel like I jinxed her. Like her nigga follows me on here and saw this post, mid thrust, and got performance anxiety. I’m sorry, Upstairs Stomping Bitch.

There’s stomping. She’s up and moving around. And you know what….. I can’t even be mad anymore. If I was only getting fucked for seven minutes at a time, I’d stomp around too.

Y’all she’s showing tf out. She’s really up there like

Damn I just heard her door close and then footsteps coming down the stairs. He left 😭😭😭 he’s not even gonna try again.

I’m gonna need ear plugs for the level of stomping this is bound to cause. When her feet inevitably crash through my ceiling ima just look through the hole and be like “hi…. sorry you didn’t get fucked down this morning. Even tho you filed a noise complaint on me that one time, I was rooting for you.”

Update y’all: it’s 3:10pm and she is vacuuming THE FUCK out of the hardwood flooring

But then like, that really does sound like something ppl that are in need of orgasm do. Just extremely unnecessary cleaning, to take their mind off the lack of sexual release.

I can see the text conversation now.

“I heard Aaron came over last nightttt. Whatd you guys get up to???👀👀👀😏”

“Not much. Oh! But, I did finally get a chance to mop my bathtub tho!!🤗 It was a mess in there, so thank god.”

“😬😔”

It’s 12:26am and she is getting her back blown tf outttt. Cannot be the same nigga from earlier.

I have the strong urge to knock the broom against the ceiling and holler out “yaaas bitch get some bomb ass dick” but I don’t wanna fuck up the vibe

Nvm. It lasted from 12:20-12:28. It’s the same nigga.

She better not start stomping or cleaning. I’ll file a noise complaint so fucking fast. Imagine getting a noise complaint for shitty sex. Don’t do it, Stomping Upstairs Bitch

what a ride

Not for her, apparently.

Lmfaooo I need updates on this

skarchomp:

spider-man: venom! i don’t know what you’re up to, but i’m here to stop it

venom: i’m taking pictures of myself for a fetish website for money, parker

venom: that a problem

spider-man: uh

spider-man: no i suppose not

spider-man: how good’s the money in that

venom: you appeal to a completely different demographic, parker