I’ve seen a lot of videos going around of urban-dwelling critters coming to humans for help with various problems, ranging from boxes stuck on their heads to young trapped down a storm drain, and it’s gotten me to thinking:
On the one hand, it’s kind of fascinating that they know to do that.
On the other hand, setting any questions of how this sort of behaviour must have arisen aside for the nonce, does it ever strike you how weird it is that we’ve got a whole collection of prey species whose basic problem-solving script ends with the step “if all else fails, go bother one of the local apex predators and maybe they’ll fix the problem for no reason”?
well, come to think of it, we’re at the top of the food chain but we almost exclusively hunt and kill prey out in the country.
raccoons and possums and foxes and crows all succeed in an urban environment because they’re opportunistic and observant. and almost none of them would have observed us pounce on one of their species and then start eating it, you know? a lot of them would have observed that we scream and chase them out of wherever we don’t want them to be, but other animals are territorial too. but there’s a number of situations where humans feed whoever’s bold enough to take them up on the offer, and we do tend to pull garbage off of other animals as soon as they slow down enough for us to catch. ‘a human got me but nothing bad happened’ is a much more frequent thing than ‘a human got me and tried to eat me’.
anyway like, we’re masters of our environment, we make weird shit happen all the time, we have lots of great food and sometimes we share, and we almost never eat someone. it makes sense for urban animals, over the last century or so, to just keep an eye out for opportunities to use us, and to pass the habit on to their kids.
It really is a weird, funny thing. Like yeah, technically they’re predators, and they get pretty screamy, especially if you try to take any of their stuff… but given the chance it seems like they’d rather help us out and sometimes they’ll just randomly give you food, so???
I mean, I guess in fairytales and myths we’ve got our fair share of stories about dangerous people/creatures who might well kill you or otherwise ruin your life, but to whom people nonetheless turn for help in desperate circumstances. So it’s not like the perspective is exactly a foreign thing to our own mindset, really… It’s just that, y’know, we can’t actually go make a deal with the faeries when there’s something we can’t figure out.
(Which brings me to an interesting thought about the ubiquitous rule about never eating the faery food lest you find yourself forever unsatisfied with anything in the human world – and the potential parallels to the dangers of feeding wildlife human food lest they become addicted and too tame and dependent to be safe for either themselves or us. Hmm.)
Okay, but that last bit with the Fae…makes almost perfect sense.
Of the stories I’ve read, the food of the Fae, its origins and effects, are often strange and/or obscure.- Just like our food to most animals.
The Fae are strange beings that seem to know weird things that give them power or an edge over us.- Just like us to animals.
The Fae work and live by strange rules also often nonsensical or obscure to us.- Just like us to animals.
The Fae can easily obtain vast amounts of things we consider rare/precious/desireable, and have no problem with dishing it out wantonly for no other reason than amusement.- Just like us to animals.
The Fae sometimes are amused by having us around, but only on their terms and IF it amuses/intrigues them.- Just like us to animals.
GUYS, I SENSE A PATTERN….
-they have arcane social conventions and the punishment for not paying the correct respects right is banishment, if you’re lucky, and death if you’re not.
-they have wild and unexpected parties where you’d least expect to find them, but if you’re bold enough to entertain them they’ll feed you and caress you and play with you all night.
-time runs strangely in their realm. their homes are summerlands: warm and bright, no matter the season. there is always fruit on their tables. but not everyone who comes in from the cold is let back out again.
-their games are cruel and complex and unfair, but if you can beat them by their own rules you will access riches beyond imagining.
-sometimes they just fucking fuck with you, the fuckheads.
-they will absolutely steal your children away. when your children return— if they ever do— they will come back strange. they will know things they shouldn’t. they won’t know things that they should. your strange children might survive, might even prosper, might take wives and husbands and have children of their own. but they will always be marked by their time away from your world.
-the price for pissing them off is always death. sometimes just you. sometimes your whole community.
-if you are very good, and very smart, and very brave, they will grant your wish.
My eyes just got wider and wider the further down I read.
Re-blogging if only so I have it close to hand.
Well shit, we’ve been looking for the fae, but turns out its us i guess
Aries: Be brave and expect some coy resistance. Station men on the nearby hills and pour down suppressing fire after the initial bombardment. Destroy the train lines and turn the canyon into a killing field.
Taurus: Patience. As much as it sucks, you’ll have to make the first move most of the time. Get them out of their comfort zone, but not too far. Radio signals fail once you get far enough into the leaden desert wastes.
Gemini: Do your research! Find the places where you interest overlap, know where you are an expert and enjoy learning new things. Once you realize the fragility of the dream it will shatter like a pane of glass.
Cancer: Above all, be honest with yourself. That will lead the way for everything that follows. Cancers admire vulnerability, and will give as much as they get. Passionate aikido forms at the edge of a canyon, the sensation of charred flesh on charred flesh.
Leo: Don’t hold back on the praise! Leo’s can be a self depreciating type. Everyone likes praise, but leos dont give themselves enough credit as is. Let them know they are more than the hydraulics and tungsten that keeps them standing. That there is more to life than utility.
Virgo: Some think Virgos are attracted to intelligence. This is close, they are attracted to passionate people. Show them the little bag of eye-stones you’ve collected over your time here. Make sure to listen, watch their reactions. Be gentle, and they will see them as treasures as you do.
Libra: Libras are excellent conversationalists, and will admire someone who can match that wit! Lay on the charm! Some friendly competition never hurt anyone, especially when it comes to flirting. Their almost-children will prattle off on their own tasks, do not interrupt them.
Scorpio: Everyone is multifaceted, dont be afraid to explore this. Scorpios have a tendency to bring out deep things in people. Steady your heart and know that they mean you no harm. Memories of wars you never fought. Loved ones you never knew. They are sharing with you the deepest recess of themselves.
Ophiuchus: You’ll find no help here.
Sagittarius: No matter what their chosen task is, expect someone who treats it like an art form. Ask questions, give in to your curiosity, though steer clear of asking personal questions, it will only make them hungry. If you do trip up, it is best to simply let them be.
Capricorn: Take charge, but don’t push any limits. Where you see resistance, simply let it be. The key here is comfort. Know that any personal information they do give, was given with great trust and difficulty. Be attentive, the signs can be subtle. A ripple in the air, a scent on the wind of kinds of life you’ve never seen before. Something that stirs deep and gnawing memories.
Aquarius: The key to an Aquarius is time. No tricks or performance is needed, just good old fashioned presence. Learn to be comfortable in the quiet, and it will welcome you. A subtle display of dedication, but dedication nonetheless. They have been here longer than you, and they will be here much longer than you. The damage to their outer shell will tell you of everything you need to know.
Pisces: Get abstract. Wax philosophical about anything and everything. Pisces love a long, deep conversation. Talk about what you think the stars looked like. Talk about what burned the sky. Talk about where you think a mother was.
I’m so tired. I just wanna curl up in Thor’s big muscular arms and use his bara titties as firm pillows for my aching back and neck. He could summon some rain for ambiance as I slept, too. Gosh Thor would be so good for nap time. I don’t even care about how staticy my hair would get, and if he had to adventure??? Just put me in one of those toddler slings strapped to his chest, I’ll drool all over it. He’d let me do that too. He’s just so good. 10/10 quality naps.
which one of the guardians of the galaxy wrote this
Drax
they all want this, Drax is just the only one brave enough to write it down
Marshmellowmilktea 