Just once, I want the hero to go “your wife/sister/mother/whatever would not have wanted this!”, and the villain to go, “actually, we talked about this a lot. She was really into vigilante justice and eye for an eye stuff. She always said, if something like this happens, avenge me.”
“Your mother never would have wanted this!”
“Wow you clearly never met my mother.”
“Your wife wouldn’t have wanted this!”
“To be honest, I’m following her list of instructions. Do you think I came up with this plan by myself?”
“I wanted to go to art school, but no! You had to kill my sister and make me enact her 37 step plan on what to do in case she was murdered!”
“Look, if it was up to me I would be sitting at home watching movies, eating fast food without a care in the world but my mom was very specific in her will and if I want my inheritance, I need to follow this plan to the letter. I don’t know what this guy did to her but man did she hold a grudge.”
“I knew your husband, he was a good hero. He would have wanted you to keep doing good deeds in his stead—“
“Actually, he wanted me to finish his bucket list for him and robbing a bank is on there,like, fifty times.”
tv shows with time travel organizations/bureaus/police/agencies/whatever should have a department with instead of a tech genius eating candy, it’s a harried seamstress or fashion designer who is like
“1450 italy? does it look like I have the time to dye you wool? nO. YOU’RE GOING TO THE 1980s”
and throws shoulder pads at the hapless time agent
“I literally made three- THREE- 18th century corsets last week. You can wait until one of them gets back, or you can go sometime post-1920s, because if I have to sew one more god damn channel I will literally lose my mind.”
“Upper middle class?!?!? You told me upper class! FUCK YEAH THERE’S A DIFFERENCE!!!”
“How about kimoNO.”
“Look me in the eyes. I do not care what you want. This is the 1500s. You absolutely cannot wear trousers.”
“Another court gown?? Here’s a novel idea: go as a peasant for once in your life. Why do you do this to me? You’re fucking sadists that’s why.”
“Don’t mind me, I’ll just be up all night hand painting silk.”
“THE POLICY IS ONE MONTH’S ADVANCE NOTICE ON PRE-1900s WOMEN’S FASHION FOR A REASON, DEBRA.”
I am writing this on February 20th, 2013. I do not
know when, or if, I will ever post it. But since you’re reading it now, it can
only mean one thing: the MSPA Prophet is dead, and it is now safe for me to
tell the world how I knew when updates were coming.
A friendly reminder that some poor probably under paid people at VIZ had to deal with this kind of hilariously sloppy web management/coding during the switch from MSPA to the official homestuck website.
Can you imagine Hussie,a man with adegree in computer science, trying to explain to you all the pages of homestuck exist on a secret forum under the reign of a million porn bots? I wish i had been in the room honestly to see the 7 stages of grief flash through VIZ’s corporate eyes simuntaneously.
Marshmellowmilktea 