Here’s something to chew on.
about me.jpg
honestly
In case you wanna read the article this quote is from: http://rolereboot.org/culture-and-politics/details/2016-05-daughter-know-ok-angry/
Adaptable girls find socially acceptable ways to internalize or channel their discomfort and ire, sometimes at great personal cost. Passive aggressive behavior, anxiety, and depression are common effects. Sarcasm, apathy, and meanness have all been linked to suppressed rage. Troublesome behaviors, such as lying, skipping school, bullying other people, even being socially awkward are often signs that a teenager is dealing with anger that they are unable to name as anger.
Girls, taught to ignore their anger, become disassociated from themselves.
Anger is so successfully sublimated that girls lose the ability to understand what it feels and looks like. Is her heart racing? Does she feel flushed or shaky? Does she clench her jaws at night? Is she breaking out in hives? Does she cry for no reason? Laugh inappropriately during difficult conversations? Fly off the handle over something that seems inconsequential? You can see where I’m going here…those crazy girl hormones, right? Better to just think of it as a phase.
For too many women, however, the phase never ends. It’s lives spent never expressing anger at all and believing that they don’t have the right or ability to do so without great risk.
Ok this is important. I feel like this all the time.
I really feel this. A conversation I had with my psychologist last year after I described what I thought was an anxious reaction to somehow who’d hurt me calling me randomly after over a year. My heart was racing and I was shaking and felt hot all over and was on the verge of tears, and she said. “That sounds like anger. You’re allowed to be angry.” And I became very aware that I had not been able to identify my own anger and even know what it feels like up until that point.
Just reading this makes me wanna punch something, ‘cause that’s ME. That’s exactly what I was growing up, just internalizing all the negative emotions until I couldn’t feel them. I’ve been rolling with the punches for so long and it’s so tiring, so when I do get the opportunity to express anger these days, it’s not just the current situation fueling my rage. It’s a tanker truck of repressed emotions getting poured onto the fire and boy golly do I enjoy hearing about what that looks like from bystanders of the situation.
It doesn’t happen so much anymore, but I think that’s just cause I’ve had a decent number of dumbasses choose the wrong person to fuck with. =w=
I’ve only identified anger once I’m screaming and trying to keep myself from hitting someone. I didn’t realize there was other layers to anger.
So is this why every time I think get angry/upset, all my memories from being bullied and how no adult in the school system would listen to me comes up along the way?
Marshmellowmilktea 