gallusrostromegalus:

drjohnjacobjinglefaustus:

ohhimarx:

Facts about my carnivorous nepenthes:

-he is old enough to go to preschool

-he is taller than I am when his vines are stretched out

-he periodically spills plant digestive fluid on me that burns until I wash it off

-he can’t stay near other plants for more than a day or two lest he try to strangle them to death

-he was solely responsible for the murder of a previous impatiens plant but he still denies it

-I once forgot him outside during an actual hurricane and he was fine

-the place I bought him from as a tiny baby monster cutting mysteriously closed down suddenly and is now a popular urban exploration site

-his name is Pitch because he’s a pitcher plant and is also satan

I want one.

@botanyshitposts It’s Ya Boi

also I’m so proud of him, the nepenthes at home is a nervous, sickly little baby but nepenthes is also not meant for alpine zones* so he must live in the shower to avoid drying out.

*nepenthes is a large genus and it wouldn’t totally surprise me to find out that there are mountain-loving mutants out there somewhere.