rogue-of-broken-time:

I don’t know if Jack realizes how sad this really is. This is one of the only things that’s ever made me cry in a YouTube video. I have depression, and while I’m not a parent or a creator or have ever had a romantic relationship myself, I can… I can almost feel what Chase is feeling.

When you’re depressed, there are times when you just go through the motions. Going absently day to day, just waiting for the times in between feeling nothing because those moments are all you really live for anymore. All he wants is to be happy again. To feel something again, to take the edge off of the numbness he was left with. 

But he can’t. The woman he loved most left him. He rarely sees his kids, which, judging from this, are the lights of his life. He just wants to feel love again, to remember what it’s like to not feel so empty. Now he doesn’t even have Jack to turn to. He’s tried to get lost in making his videos, to please the people, to try to feel like he’s capable of maybe making just one person happy.

But it doesn’t fill the hole in his heart. It’s no replacement for what he’s lost. 

And he can’t even take his own life to escape that pain. 

Of course he’s going to turn to drinking. It’s his painkiller. He probably hates that he’s had to turn to it, but for him, it’s all he has left that can take the edge off of the nothing.

Chase was never my favorite ego, but… now he has a special place in my heart, because this clip tells us so much more than words could.