parents need to realize their children aren’t free therapists
also it isn’t mean for children to not want to be put in this position
It took me some 25 years until a therapist made me understand that. You’re not responsible for your parents’ emotional growth, you are not their therapist. You aren’t even their friend – friendship is a relationship of equals, and that won’t ever be the case between parent and child. You can get along well, you can be very close, but you’re still parent and child.
It’s sad because many women are lonely their whole lives and have this often subconscious belief that having a child will mend that loneliness, will give them a best friend who will always be there for them. It breaks my heart, but being my mother’s bestie is still not my obligation. It’s not even within my capacity. They need people their own age, with similar experiences, with equal power balance, to build a support system.
Many of us want to “fix” our parents’ woes but the fact is that we can’t. Support them by suggesting therapy, by being there for them as their child, not their friend. Boundaries help everyone.
This speaks to me lately bc my parents are getting ready to split up & they both need therapy af
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Marshmellowmilktea 